Showing posts with label China Series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label China Series. Show all posts

Friday, 9 June 2017

Lost in Translation

My wife, a friend and I have a whatsapp group where we share photos of nonsensical translations on signs, books, menus &c. I do not know why it never occurred to me to put these here before - but better late than ever. I will be updating this post with new pictures.























Easter dress in Spain

The original quote was "when I first started, Jessica drove me so hard I quit once per month"
My friend's autocorrect

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Culture in China

China, a year later. I haven't written on life here in a while, because I quickly ran out of interesting/fun things to report. But now, having worked and talked with locals a bit more, I am beginning to form a mental image of China's culture - and one I do not much like, but that is interesting to write about.

My interpretation of the country's history is that the cultural revolution succeeded in its explicitly stated goal of destroying the Four Old - Customs, Culture, Habits and Ideas. The destruction of old artifacts, the suppression of customs, the persecution of intellectuals and the restriction of free speech were all very successful in eradicating anything the people could use as a framework to think about morality, aesthetics, social norms and behaviours. As a result, the Chinese were left with a blank slate, a void that they have been trying to fill with whatever they can - mostly commercialism and consumerism.

You see this attempt to fill the void everywhere: in their adoption of the commercial aspect of religious holidays, like Halloween and Christmas; in the explosive growth of foreign religions; in their attempts to Hollywoodify their films; in their adoption of and preference for Western fashion; in their habit of naming random things after famous Western people; in their construction of faux-European buildings; in their selective and sort of emotionally empty attempt to revive old customs; and so on. To give just one example of the latter, a couple of weeks ago the Chinese celebrated the Lantern Festival (which although it has been celebrated since ~200BC was banned after the cultural revolution and revived again later on). My wife and I went to a party, where someone asked the Chinese people there what the festival was about. The only one who knew was my wife, who had read the festival's history on Wikipedia.

(Not that I blame them on this one - there are many stories about the origin of the Festival but one of them goes as follows: one day, the Emperor's favourite counselor witnessed one of the palace's maids about to commit suicide. He asked her why she wanted to kill herself, and the girl replied that she never had a chance to see her family and she was sad. The counselor decided to help her. But did he go to the Emperor and say "hey, there's this little girl and she was literally about to kill herself, maybe we should give her leave to go see her parents"? No, where's the fun in that? He set up a fortune telling booth in town, and started telling everyone God was about to go Sodom and Gomorrah on them. He also told them God would send a red fairy with further instructions. He then had the maid dress as a red fairy and tell everyone the town would burn on the fifteenth lunar day (how exactly this furthers the maid's agenda is unclear). The Emperor asked him (the counselor) for advice, and the counselor suggested that everyone cook his (the counselor's) favourite food, launch fireworks and hang red lanterns outside their houses to trick God into thinking the city was already on fire so that he (God) would leave the city alone. The Emperor followed this advice, had everyone light lanterns and everything was well. Oh, and the maid's family came to the palace to see the lanterns and was reunited with the maid. So yeah...it looks like the counselor's only match in coming up with incredibly convoluted schemes to achieve something exceedingly simple is Wile E. Coyote.

(In general, either there is a much more significant cultural understanding aspect than I thought when it comes to narrative structure, or ancient Chinese story tellers did not deem it necessary to imbue their characters with basic logic - for example, in the ancient epic "The Three Kingdoms", the "good guy"'s chief general defeats a rebel leader something like 9 times, each time sparing him, letting him go and specifically instructing him to raise a new army to fight a new war. Why? Because reasons. (Also: how good the good guy, Liu Bei, is is debatable: at one point he seeks refuge in a hunter's house. The hunter, not having any game, butchers his wife and feeds her to his guest telling him it's wolf meet. Later, Liu Bei walks past the kitchen, sees the wife's corpse and realises what happen. But instead of feeling sick or guilty or anything like that he is touched, and rewards the hunter with money and praise.)

(Then again, the undisputed champion for wtfesque narrative is Bram Stoker, who in addition to his well known masterpiece also wrote a lesser known gem called "The Lair of the White Worm". The story is that two Englishmen believe an impoverished noblewoman is an ancient dragon, because their pet mongoose attacked her and her house is at the site of ancient Mercian legends. So of course the only logical conclusion is that she is the fabled White Worm who has evolved over the millennia to look like a human because that's totally how evolution works. They actually turn out to be right, and the lady/dragon takes turns at trying to brutally murder them and inviting them to tea. They (the Englishmen) politely accept her invites because to refuse a lady's invitation in Victorian England is unthinkable, even if your host is a primordial monster. At the same time there is a nobleman who tries to telepathically murder an innocent girl just so that he can test his psychic powers. The girl also refuses to avoid seeing her aspiring murderer because what would society think is she were rude to him?)))

But anyway, digressions aside, this is a serious matter. Cultures evolve, but at any given point in time, people have their past as a starting point to think about their future. Let's say you are interested in philosophy. Before you even go to university, you have some grasp of the ideas in philosophy - morality, virtues, political systems, the nature of reality &c. Then you go to university where you are taught by people who have been thinking about these topics all their lives.

But now imagine that you are not allowed access to any information; that you are not allowed to even discuss any of these topics. That anyone who does discuss these topics is exiled or worse. That any books on these topics are banned. That from one day to the next, these topics just stop existing. And that this goes on for 10 years, so that at the end of the decade, no-one really knows anything about these matters.

What do you do in this case? All your links to the past have been severed. You have no framework, no references, nothing to go on. Consider art: I am far from an expert on the matter, but when my wife and I visited the National Museum of Art in Beijing, we had the feeling that the paintings, while technically good, were insubstantial attempts to copy Western (or in fewer cases traditional Chinese) art. It was like artists were told "this is what art looks like, go make something like it" - there was no self-expression, no effort to evolve the medium, just an attempt at imitation of what others are doing.

Trying to forge a path without being on one already, without a starting point, must be incredibly difficult. What's especially sad is that, bizarre story-telling aside, what little I've seen of older art is excellent. Older architecture, fashion and furniture are elegant, beautiful and at times awe inspiring. It's a huge shame that the Chinese have been reducing to trying to reproduce their past glories (for example, by creating fake antiques (because most of the real ones were destroyed during the revolution) or putting huge tacky red stickers with classical Chinese writing on their doors).

(At the moment I am trying to establish whether the same can be said of Chinese philosophy (i.e. that it was also good). Amazingly, the big bookshop in the expat area only had one copy of one book on Confucius. It's premature to make judgments based on one book alone, but so far I cannot say I've been overwhelmed - basically it's all about praising virtues like humility and kindness, but without any attempt to explain why these are important virtues. (Also includes aphorisms like "praise a horse for its virtue, not its strength"). In this sense, it looks like Confucianism is much more like a religion (i.e. trying to describe a good way of living without an analysis on why this way of life is the right one) than philosophy).

In the same way art comes across as soulless, so do revived traditions. In Europe people find meaning in their traditions, even if these are mundane things that are more secular rather than religious any more - like a meal of old family recipes on Christmas day, a walk on boxing day or attending church on Easter Sunday.  As I've written before, I think such traditions are basically a means of communication, of transferring feelings and thoughts from one generation to the next, a means of building a sense of community and belonging. In contrast, traditions here give the impression of people saying "hey, that old custom seems nice, let's do that again", in the same way someone in Europe might attend a moon party in Thailand or an Indian wedding - sure, it may be fun and interesting, but it won't have the same meaning.

That said, there is a small part of ancient culture that has survived. This has to do with belief in certain virtues such as loyalty, a particularly strong sense of duty towards family and belief in superstition (e.g. fortune telling, which is apparently quite popular even with business magnates who will consult psychics before conducting business deals - at least, that's what I was told by a journalist here!). Also food. I suppose it's almost impossible to do away with culinary traditions!

(Let me also note that while I am using the West as a comparison, I do think the West also suffers from a similar problem to an extent. Fewer and fewer people believe in God or follow a religion in earnest, but they have not found something to replace it. For this I blame academic philosophers: having done away with a religious moral framework, they have not thought it appropriate to try and talk with the average person about potential alternatives, preferring to debate pedantic details among themselves in their ivory towers. But regardless of whose fault it is, the fact of the matter is that in the West too we have people who are somewhat lost - they have some notions of what is "good" and what is "bad", but nothing to base these ideas on. I think this uncertainty, this lack of a convincing moral framework, is partly to blame for things like polarisation, increases in divorce rates, weakening sense of community and belonging, existential crises &c - in other words, people in the West have become too smart to blindly believe in God-issued tenets but not smart enough/secure enough to cope with the resulting lack of meaning in their lives. Hence people trying to combat existential angst with ideas imported from the East (Buddhism &c), pilates, spinning and so on. That's right - I trace the emergence of spinning to the decline of religion).

What I am now wondering is whether this is linked to the other notable aspect of culture here - a lack of innovative drive (one request I make when interviewing candidates is that they provide an example of innovative thinking; sadly I cannot produce their responses publicly, but trust me, some are hilarious and beggar belief). Is this lack of innovation linked to the fact that coming up with new ideas was dangerous and discouraged during the revolution? Or is this a more historical trait? (After all, even older Chinese culture seems to favour stability over progress). Either way, it looks like the educational system here trains people that there is a box whose boundaries are very clearly defined, and thinking ought to be contained within that box. Amazingly, at the same time as the Chinese are trying to emulate Western education to teach their children creativity, Western schools are trying to go the other way and emulate China!

(In my view both approaches are wrong and the truth lies in the middle. It's wrong to teach children to solve problems algorithmically/through brute force without real understanding; but it's equally wrong to teach children that there is no such thing as a wrong answer and that memorising information is useless. It's quite embarrassing that British children have no idea of history or grammar for example - apparently memorising facts or understanding the rules that govern language are too restrictive (for what it's worth, my view on the importance of grammar isn't just a result of my being a stuck-up, pedantic conservative (not that this isn't at all a factor): it has to do with the appreciation of language's beauty. When you start understanding grammar you begin to see that a communication tool that arose naturally is nevertheless ruled by a very consistent logic; furthermore, as you learn different languages, you begin to see that there are some elements that are remarkably similar among them - which has led some people to postulate the existence of a hard-wired Universal Grammar in humans. I mean, isn't this all wonderful? Don't you think people who use language without really thinking about it are missing out? It's like having your living room furnished with Picassos and Dalis and never even realising they are there, much less stopping to admire them.))

Anyway - this refusal to think out of the box has unfortunate repercussions on things like customer service or productivity. For example, you go to a hotel with a large group of people, and though there are 3 receptionists at the check in desk, they insist all three of them are needed to check in one person, regardless of the fact that there are 20 people waiting in a queue. Or you go to the underground, which has a checkpoint staffed with 8 (!!) security guards - one to scan your bags, one to scan you and 6 to just stand there. Plus another 2 guards and 5 attendants on the platform. No-one seems to question why this many people are needed in a little station far from downtown Beijing. Or you go to the Tianjin rail station, and you have to undergo a security check to buy tickets, then exit the ticket office, go to the main terminal and undergo a second security check before you can go to your platform.

Given all this, it may seem shocking the Chinese are so advanced when it comes to things like mobile payments. But thinking about it, it seems to me that the areas in which the Chinese are more advanced than the west are those that are a matter of execution and resources rather than design (e.g. bullet trains), lack of regulation or fortunate coincidences (e.g. the Chinese never developed a big credit card culture, so they moved straight from cash to mobile payments). The question is, are these sustainable? Are the Chinese destined to beat the West only as far as they can import and improve foreign ideas? Or will they adapt and do away with cultural barriers to innovation? This remains to be seen.

One final note: none of the above is to say that the Chinese aren't smart or good people. I have met many people here who are driven and excellent at their jobs and almost everyone is kind and welcoming. I am only commenting on the astonishing cultural destruction the country underwent.

Friday, 10 February 2017

China: working here

Warning: tl;dr

I have been working for almost a couple of months now, and I think it's time to write about a few preliminary observations about the experience. It is very likely that as I forge closer bonds with colleagues here, or face different situations, I will revise these thoughts; but for now, here goes.

The most important thing to note is that either cultural differences and their effects on working habits are overblown (which is very possible - people like to dramatise small differences - e.g. many Westerners love to point out how many Chinese words have no corresponding words in English, and consider this an amazing insight into how different our cultures are, overlooking the many European words that can also not be directly translated - I'd list some here, but it would come across as bragging about my language skills) or P&G has an exceptionally strong culture (which is also very possible - from what I've heard, it tends to dominate that of other companies following M&A / poaching activity - the notable exception being Amazon, whose London office culture has not seen a marked change from what I'm told, in spite of their stealing half of P&G's workforce). Overall, my colleagues' attitudes are very similar to those of P&Gers in Geneva or the UK.

That said, there are some differences. For one, people here do not like to appear vulnerable - well, no one likes to appear vulnerable, but people here seem to have a lower threshold than in Europe. This is a bit challenging with the language barrier - there are times when I will ask a question, and people will answer yes quite enthusiastically, even if they haven't understood it (and I know they haven't understood it, because often my questions are dichotomic, in which case "yes" is either inappropriate or a trite compsci joke).

This is a bit frustrating, but not an issue; it becomes a problem if I accidentally make someone feel uncomfortable. I am used to discussing things with colleagues in an open-space environment (and I am also used to being abused in an open space environment - my former boss would reject my first three drafts on any analysis or recommendation by saying "Aris, this is crap, do it again", and only accept the fourth one with "this is less crap, and we don't have more time to redo it"). Here, I have to be more careful. For instance, in one case I couldn't understand something, so I went by a colleague's desk to ask her to explain it to me. After I said "I don't understand" for the second time, she asked to go to a meeting room to have the discussion instead of in public - and I realised that she felt that our discussion made it seem like she was not explaining things well enough, or that she had made a mistake, and I was therefore embarrassing her in front of our other colleagues. Even though I was the one who wasn't getting it.

There is a significant gender-imbalance here, and in the opposite direction to the Western one. The plant manager, my boss, my boss's boss, my boss's boss's boss, all my finance colleagues in my plant and my counterparts in other plants are women. I am not sure why - it could be that corporate work here is viewed as more feminine, and that men go into banking or politics? I don't know.

Another interesting fact: my plant manager, herself Chinese, told me that I have a huge advantage, because the Chinese people have more respect for me for being foreigner, so they will listen to me more than they would listen to a local hire. I don't know if that's true, but it's definitely the case that my recommendations meet very little, almost no resistance. Whether this is because people genuinely agree with me, or they just say they do and then disregard my suggestions and never implement them remains to be seen.

Re lunch breaks, I'm happy to report that people here take their lunch seriously, and contrary to the sweat shop working environment my mum was picturing when I first told her I will work in a factory in China, people take a good hour to eat. This would be an improvement VS the UK, where I got dyspepsia the first time I went for lunch with colleagues as I was forced to gobble down my food in 10 minutes and where I ended up instituting a swear-jar-except-you-put-money-in-it-when-you-skip-lunch plan with my team (with very little success I'm afraid), if it weren't for the fact that people here don't seem very eager to really socialise over lunch. My finance colleagues and I will sit together, but hardly talk - and it's not because I don't speak Chinese: my colleagues will take out their phones and do their own thing over food. My attempts to coax discussion, in English or Chinese, fall flat ("what did you do over the weekend? - slept. Do you guys celebrate Christmas? - No. It's cold, does it snow here? - Yes." When even the trusted weather discussion fails, there isn't much hope.)

Dress code (this relates to the plant role, not China in general): unfortunately, no suit and tie... we have to wear uniforms, but at least they are okay - orange polo shirts, orange jackets, horrible trousers that I refuse to wear and so far haven't got into any trouble for it. I think I could actually get away with wearing a shirt (and tie) as long as I wore the orange jacket on top, but that would mean washing and ironing shirts at home - too much effort.

So, bottom line: working here is not radically different to working in Europe. People are a bit more image-conscious and shy, they treat foreigners with a bit of awe, are slightly anti-social over lunch... but overall, I can't say that it's a big change. But who knows, maybe there are small, subtle details I haven't yet caught, that will make my work easier or harder going forward. Let's see.

EDIT: I've since come to realise that there are subtle differences that I hadn't really noticed to begin with. These, plus the language barrier, make working here very challenging. Running routine processes is easy; but making bigger changes is very difficult. In short, I am finding my current assignment the toughest yet in my career in P&G.

China: driving

In a previous post I mentioned that Beijing drivers are similar to Greek drivers. Well. That was while I was walking amongst them, not driving alongside them. Earlier this month, Jessi and I acquired a scooter and a bicycle, the usage of which has led me to reevaluate my judgement. Because here’s the thing…

a) Drivers (and pedestrians) here have no self-preservation instinct. People give precisely 0 fucks that they might run you over (which I get) but they are not any more generous with the fucks they give when you might run them over (I was going to write f***s, but then I realized that this kind of self-censoring is just bizarre – not to mention that it could be read as forks, foxes, faxes, fixes, fools, finns, fries, flies and more improbably (as it’s a rarer word), foins). Pedestrians will blithely walk in the middle of the street, totally oblivious to the cars, bikes and bicycles speeding around them. Drivers will go to against the flow of traffic totally unfazed, which brings me to…

b)… pointing out the following difference: in Greece, most people ignore the rules, but you can tell that they are aware of them, and choose to break them when they think they won’t be caught. Here, people seem to either not know the rules in the first place (even basic ones, such as on which side of the road they are supposed to drive), or they care so little that they don’t mind violating them in broad daylight, in front of thousands of other drivers or even in front of the police.

c) It’s well known that in most countries, most people rank themselves as above-average drivers. Most people claim that this is a paradox – a) it’s absolutely not in the first place, because, for example, if there are 10 drivers, 9 of whom are about the same level, and one is so bad he goes and gets himself killed, then of course the 9 drivers are all above average. It would be a paradox if most people thought they are better than the median driver, which brings me to b), that still wouldn’t be a paradox if the set of ranked drivers includes Beijing drivers. Basically, this is a convoluted way for me to say that Beijing drivers are terribly terrible, even when they are not oblivious to rules.
I almost never get dizzy – I have no problem sleeping in a turbulent flight, and I don’t get nausea sailing on a rough sea. A few months ago, I’d have said “I never get dizzy”. Now I say almost, because I’ve been in Beijing taxis.

Scooting and cycling around Beijing has confirmed my thesis: when you drive, you need to navigate around other drivers. To do this, most people assume that other drivers will make reasonable maneuvers themselves. You cannot operate on this logic in Beijing – if you do, you will very likely hit someone, as I almost did on several occasions. You can also not rely on people indicating, looking at their mirrors before making a u-turn or pulling out of their lane, or checking if anyone is about to overtake them before stopping in the middle of the road and opening their doors.

d) The only way to cope with all this is to suspend your road rage. If you don’t, you will get really angry and frustrated and will probably get hit by a bus. If you learn to just see the fun in the absurd way people operate here, you are still likely to get hit by something, but at least you will go smiling.

China: learning Mandarin

The last time I learnt a new language was when I was 9, when we started learning German at school. It's the only language I actually remember learning - I learnt the others at too young an age to remember anything but snippets (although I do know - because my mother keeps reminding me - that I made a terrible start at English. Apparently, when she went to collect my school report, my English teacher told her, "so, your son has learning difficulties, right?". My mum was like, "what do you mean?" "He's not learnt anything in a trimester, and all he does is draw power rangers and dinosaurs in his notebook". My mum came back home furious, and asked me what that was all about. I told her that it's okay, because English is not a "real" subject, it's more like art class (which is another sad story - in high school, again while collecting my report, my mum overheard some other parents talking about how demanding our art teacher was, and how their children spent hours doing art homework. When she came home, she asked me how come I wasn't spending hours doing it too. I told her I was just not doing it at all. She told me that this was totally ridiculous, and I should start doing it, and that she would supervise. My grades actually declined, from 17/20 in the first trimester, to 15/20 in the second to 12/20 in the third. I believe the reason was that when I wasn't doing my homework, the teacher didn't have any record of my work, and being unsure who I actually was, she just gave me a 17. Once she started collecting proof my artistic inability, she (justly) lowered my score. The more proof she collected, the lower my score. The fact that when I had to do a collage my dad decided to help by cutting out kite-shaped pieces from an adult magazine probably didn't help), and anyway I know French and I don't need to learn English. That didn't placate her - she forced me to study the language, which turned out well, as it meant I went to England to study and married Jessi. Years later, I met my first English teacher, who was shocked to find out I studied in the UK. Okay, closing this parenthesis - the problem with nested parentheses (as every programmer knows) is that it's sometimes hard to keep track and ensure you've closed all of them - I think I made that mistake in a previous post).

Anyway, as I was saying, I do remember learning German. Learning Chinese doesn't begin to compare in difficulty (and not just because my German teacher was one of the best teachers I've ever had). In fact, I can't remember if I've ever been challenged to this extent. Some of my university courses were tough (I don't ever want to see vector equations and light diffusion physics for graphics ever again), but firstly, even in the toughest courses I took at school or uni I at least had a foundation on which to build (it's not like I moved from simple arithmetic to integrals from one day to the next) and secondly, by the time I started learning difficult concepts in mathematics or computing, I had spent years in an environment that was continuously intellectually challenging, so I was prepared for it. In contrast, I've spent the past 5 years doing a job that, though I loved it, and it was very challenging in some ways, it was hardly rocket science. If a brain is like a muscle, mine is like Schwarzenegger's biceps - world class at its prime, but flabby from misuse now (jk, sadly I don't think my brain ever quite qualified as world class, and to be fair I haven't watched Terminator Genesis (as it is actually spelt) so I don't know, perhaps his biceps are world class again).

So I now find myself trying to learn a language which has no links to Indoeuropean ones (it's hard to overstate the effect of this; it's not just that languages like English, Greek, French and German share many words - more importantly, the sounds are quite similar, which makes learning new words easier, even if they are not similar to any you already know), with a brain that's a bit rusty and unused to being challenged. Which is extremely interesting and rewarding for several reasons:

a) learning the language itself is very fun. Many Chinese words are formed by combining other words. For example, the word for university is the combination of the words "big" and "school"; the word for film is the combination of the words "electric" and "shadow". I think that's pretty cool - at least to me, it sounds pretty rad saying that I will watch "electric shadows".

b) misusing the language is also very fun. Chinese has four tones (plus no tone), and the same word, but with different tone, may mean very different things. With a slight change in tone, "please excuse me" becomes "please kiss me". A friend told me that she accidentally asked a Chinese person how her sex life was, when she meant to ask how hot the food was. (Even more amusingly, the Chinese person responded to the question...) EDIT: apparently, ancient Greek worked in the same way. I knew Ancient Greek had two tones, but their function in pronunciation was never explained to me in school.

c) because of point (a), I think that the more words one learns, the easier it will be to guess the meaning of unknown words. Of course, that's not always the case - the word for hotel is the words for "alcohol" and "room" - I imagine because hotels evolved from inns and bars. But I'm looking forward to the day when I will have a rich enough vocabulary to be able to at least understand the components of new words, and play guessing games (in fact, that could be an amusing road trip game... give a Chinese composite word, and try to guess what it actually means).

d) learning a language like Chinese is very humbling - I feel very vulnerable, and like an idiot, when I talk to my teacher, and I have to pause every 2 seconds to go "ummmm". But it's sort of an interesting experience, being suddenly placed in a position where you really aren't very confident, but you have to persevere anyway. Most of us avoid situations where we feel vulnerable, so being "forced" into one is a novel experience...

e)... and it's very rewarding when you succeed (in very small ways in my case). I felt very proud and empowered the first time I went to a cafe and asked for a menu, and what the price was, and understood it. Or when I got into a taxi and managed to understand that the taxi driver was asking me if I were American (it dulled my enthusiasm though when I proudly said that I was Greek, and he had no idea what that was. I had to compromise for Italian, which he knew). Or (less happily) when we had a cake we hadn't ordered delivered to our place, and managed to identify the intended recipient, and ask them in Chinese were they live, and give them the cake.

A few notes on the language itself, in case anyone is interested in linguistics. The grammar is dead simple, with no tenses or verb subjugation. That said, it's quite rigid - word types have specified places in a sentence (e.g. subject first, then location, then verb, then object), and you cannot move them around. Adjectives don't take verbs - e.g. in English you say "she is beautiful", in Chinese you'd just say "she beautiful". Apparently Chinese is the source of ungrammatical English phrases such as "long time no see". Random note, but fun fact - the Chinese have different words to describe one's place in a family. There is no word for "brother": there is one word for "younger brother" (didi, which I plan to establish as my brother's new nickname) and one for older (gege).

Though everything official is written in Chinese characters, they have the equivalent of Greeklish - i.e. words written in Latin characters. That's what I'm learning at the moment - I figure, first I will learn to speak, then I will learn how to read and write characters. Let's see - hopefully by the time I leave China, I will be able to write the above in Mandarin... (I avoided using complex words on purpose!)

China: the finer things in life

Last weekend was quite arty, so I will use this post to talk a bit about the finer things in life in Beijing.

- Art: we're obviously too new here to have properly explored the art scene. But we visited Art Zone 798, which is home to tens (hundreds?) of Chinese galleries (and a nice Italian restaurant - Jessi can't look at art (or generally engage in non-eating activities (nested parentheses are fun #meta (http://xkcd.com/33/))) when hungry).

It was a fun experience - and some of the pieces on display were interesting - but overall, I must confess that I wasn't wowed. Most of the work there felt a bit too common, too derivative, to use what is probably the bitchiest criticism in the world (in seriousness, if giving feedback to someone in person, I think that saying their work is derivative is horrible - it's not helpful in any way, and it's hard to argue against).

Of course, I plan to visit again, as we only managed to visit a small number of galleries, given how many there are there. But what I enjoyed more than the art district was...

- ... the furniture market. I must confess that when it comes to art and a lot of forms of design I am biased, I think Western know-how is superior. For example, we visited an exhibition at the V&A in London which showcased Indian jewellery. I felt that the India-inspired jewels created by western manufacturers like Cartier were superior to the Indian ones themselves. Which is why I (embarrassingly?) was genuinely surprised at how beautiful Chinese furniture is, when I saw a few pieces still at the V&A.

So, having heard that there is an area with lots of furniture shops here, I pestered Jessi to go. And so we did. And it was awesome. The area we visited has nothing but furniture shops, and you can find all sorts of Chinese designs - classical (reproductions though, not antiques) and modern. And both styles are beautiful. You can see desks that are imposing, heavy and solid, or thin, long and light, and yet both elegant. Bookcases made of wood and iron, either in a minimalist style, or with intricate shelf designs. Partition screens, painted or carved, beds, couches, coffee tables (it's funny - we spent four years in the same flat in Geneva without a coffee table because we never found one we thought was perfect, but here we hardly saw any we didn't like) - all wonderful, except for their chairs. These are just large and made of wood - they don't look very elegant nor comfortable. But everything else was great. Also, the variety of styles means you could decorate any sort of house with items bought here - a summer house in a Greek island or a Swiss chalet. Definitely recommend it.

- Tailoring: in Beijing you can get tailored shirts for the same price you get off the rack ones in the UK (~20 GBP). The service is also very fast - about 1 week. Jessi and I have both ordered shirts, but we haven't tried them yet... stay tuned. If they are good, when I get a job, I've warned Jessi that I will buy a quantity of suits that is somewhere between "a lot of suits" and "all the suits". Especially as my salary to suit-cost ratio (my personal Big Mac Index) will be about 25-30 VS 4 in London.

- Alcohol: wine and whisky are about the same price here as in London, but I've been warned that there are a lot of fakes around, so one needs to be careful. In restaurants, people drink mostly beer or tea - Jessi and I aren't keen beer drinkers, but we've tried some very good ones here. Micro-brewing seems to be a trend in the East just as much as it is in Europe. Still, I think having tea with our dinner is probably a welcome break for our livers... at least until we move into our flat and start buying wine again - which reminds me, forgot to list this above: also found lovely bar furniture - which I've always wanted. Definitely recommend the furniture market.

Also - there is a great tiny bar where there are no menus (hardly any tables for that matter - maybe 2 or 3). Instead, you tell the barman what you feel like drinking, and he will make you something. Your instructions can be dull, like ours were (something sweet, whisky based for me, something refreshing, gin based for Jessi) or more creative (something "autumny" - as requested by a friend of a friend, who apparently sent the drink back for further modification for not being autumny enough). From what I understood, the limit to the instructions you can give the barman is set by your imagination - you could order a mood, or a drink based on a poem etc. Will confirm this next time and let you know.

China: First Impressions Pt 2

We are slowly settling in. I think that by now, the fact that we have really moved here has fully sunk in, and we are starting to find our way around - we may have even got a flat (made an offer, awaiting final confirmation). EDIT: We got the flat. So, a few more observations and comments:

- Customer service here is amazing. I went to get a phone, and managed to get a plan and a device within half an hour - regardless of the facts that I do not have a Chinese bank account yet and that the lady who had to deal with me did not speak any English... She called a colleague of hers who did, and we managed the whole transaction by passing the phone back and forth. EDIT from a year later: service here is bizarre. At times unbelievably efficient, at times incomprehensibly Kafkaesque. People are very helpful and kind in general, except...

- ... when commuting. I covered driving habits last week - now let me talk a little bit about the underground: firstly, like all modes of transport here, it is very, very cheap (30 pence per trip!). But secondly, it is also very clean, modern, fast, and your phone has signal - in other words, so much better than London (though not as nice as the Athens one, where you see ancient ruins in the stations). Unfortunately, however, people in the underground as not as polite as in the UK. They do not apologise when trying to pass through - they just push each other out of the way (in the rare cases they do speak, they don't say "excuse me"; the direct translation of the phrase they use is something like "move out of the way"). It got me thinking - what's the minimum % of people who need to start saying "excuse me" when shoving people out of their way before everyone adopts the habit?

Also, infuriatingly, there is no escalator etiquette - people stand both on the left and the right. Having picked up something of the English mentality, I'm ill-equipped to deal with that: since I cannot speak Mandarin, and thinking that it would be rude to talk to people in English, I have no way of communicating my desire that they move out of the bloody way - so all I can do is stand behind them helplessly frustrated.

- WeChat is your life. That's the Chinese version of WhatsApp, but so much more powerful. Besides providing a chat service, WeChat also functions as a payments system - in fact, we've been to a few places where they accept WeChat payments, but not cards. You can use it to pay restaurant or utility bills, or to transfer money to one another - it makes splitting the bill much easier. Unfortunately, that service doesn't seem to work on Jessi's and my phone (this sentence is pretty tricky grammatically... "Jessi's and my phone" seems the best option, but surely it should be "phones"? Also, and I'm aware I'm digressing here, how would I refer to something that belongs to Jessi and me - e.g. our flat? "Jessi's and my flat" looks awkward) because we somehow got our WeChat accounts registered outside of mainland China. Besides payments, there is another great functionality (I'm beginning to sound like an ad here): you can add a contact who acts as your valet - e.g. you write to them "I want tickets to watch Star Wars in English", and they will book them for you. How cool is that? Why doesn't have exist in London? (Well, probably because here it's quite cheap to pay hundreds of people to provide such a service)

- The Chinese are like the Honey badger: Chinese don't care; Chinese don't give a ****. Unlike the English, they do not exhibit any kind of self-conciousness in their public behaviour. There is a park between where we live and the Embassy, where you see all kinds of things: people practising Tai Chi in solitude or in groups, people ball room dancing to "the tide is high", people walking backwards (in that park, walking clockwise is supposed to be good for your constitution, and vice versa, so people want to avoid walking directly counter-clockwise), people flying kites or even sword fighting. Which relates to the point below...

- ... a friend expressed mild surprise that I did not mention the public spitting or burping in my previous post. But the thing is, almost everyone had told us about this before heading out - and once you expect it, there's nothing really surprising about it. Whereas even if I tell you that people engage in sword play in parks here, you'll still do a double take when you see it for yourself. I'm curious as to what would happen if a 90 year old guy showed up in Hyde Park brandishing a sword and waving it around...

- Finally, a comment on height: disappointingly, it is not the case that I find myself towering over the masses and that people regard me with awe (although a guard did salute me for some reason, so I've got that going for me which is nice (anyone get the reference?)). Actually, a quick check on Wikipedia, which is inexplicably not banned, shows that while the average male height in China is 167 cm, in Beijing it is 175, which is not only close to the European average of 178, but is also higher than my own 170 cms. Jessi however does make an impression - our estate agent commented "your wife... she's very tall!".

China: First Impressions

Some colleagues suggested that I start a blog narrating my experiences in China (although I think that the difference in lifestyle between being a finance manager and being a house husband may be just as stark as those between living in the UK and living here).

I do not want to create a new blog for such a purpose, because I will inevitably stop writing in it, and it will end up being as sad an endeavour as the thousands of unfinished novels started by hipsters in Starbucks. However, I might as well write a few facebook posts before I get bored. EDIT: I've started a blog.

So, China. I've only been here for a few days, and as I'm staying at an expat compound, bordering a mall, it's not like I've had much interaction with the real Beijing. Still, here are my first impressions:

- Beijing feels huge. Obviously it is a massive city by any standard, bigger than anywhere I've lived before, but it is built in such a way that it emphasises its scale. London and Athens are large cities, but you don't get the same impression as you do here. The streets are gigantic, as are the buildings, malls, restaurants etc. Certainly not a place you want to be if you are agoraphobic.

- The pollution doesn't feel half as bad as I expected (feared). During the first few days, the pollution was actually very low, but even today, when the pollution level is classified as "very unhealthy", I can still walk outside without it being a problem. That said, you do often perceive a sort of chemical smell when walking around, but nothing major. EDIT: A year later, I have to say the pollution can be very annoying.

- Beijing is surprisingly green. There are lovely parks and trees everywhere around. Unexpected.

- I never, ever, thought I'd say something like this, but there is something comforting in seeing western restaurants or chains around (Zara, McDonalds, KFC etc). For the first time in my life I understand how one can feel homesick, and how seeing something familiar, even if it is something you'd detest in your native environment, may evoke a pleasant feeling. Now, of course I do not plan to shop or eat in any of the above - see the note on food further down - but I was genuinely surprised to feel anything other than indifference or annoyance at the sight of a multinational fast food chain. EDIT: later on I moved by myself to a flat in Tianjin for a few months. I gorged on Pizza Hut (it was an easy take out option).

- Speaking of feeling at home, driving behaviour here is strongly reminiscent of Greece. Cross-roads are a free-for all: cyclists, drivers and pedestrians all cross the street indifferent to one another's presence. I'm not sure I understand how traffic lights work - they do seem to restrict the number of cars that will cross the street, but do not eliminate them. Like in Greece, crossings here are a game of chicken: pedestrian and driver assess each other's resolve and either give way or march/speed ahead. Unlike Greece, the pedestrian here often wins.

- The food here is excellent, and ridiculously cheap. One of Jessi's colleagues said that although she loves cooking, she hasn't eaten at home in 6 months, and I can totally see why. A lot of people warned us before leaving that what we think of as Chinese food in the UK has nothing to do with real Chinese food in Beijing. That is not quite true - the basic concepts and dishes are similar. It is true that rice features far less prominently in Beijing cuisine than in take out menus (at least based on the small sample of restaurants we've visited so far), and some dishes are served differently (e.g. Pecking duck comes in slices, not shreds), but if you like Chinese food in the UK, you'll like it here.

On the same topic, people's eating habits are a bit strange... unlike western restaurants, menus here don't seem to follow any logical structure - one cannot really speak of appetisers and mains given that people order a lot of things to share, but still, you'd expect small dishes first, then large dishes, then deserts. But no - here you get them all mixed around. And dishes do not arrive in any particular order either - you can see people around you mix their Kung Pao Chicken with their desert. Very peculiar.

- Weather be crazy. Two days ago the temperature was subzero (heh, as a Mortal Kombat fan it's always a pleasure to write "subzero" - also makes me giggle as I remember that in Greece, the character was literally translated to "ο υπό-το-μηδέν") and today it is 18 degrees.

- The internet situation is a bit annoying. All Google services and facebook is blocked - you can use a VPN to bypass the firewall, but it slows down your device, to the extent that they may not work (our mobiles and tablet work fine, but the VPN doesn't work on the laptop). To post this, I have to email it from my laptop via a Microsoft account to myself, so as to post it via the tablet.